The kids went back to school today.  YAY!  As much as I love my children, I have come to crave my quiet time as well.  I suppose that marks me as growing old, the state of aging when music gets to loud and you just don’t “get” the latest fashion trends.  The most notable of all signs of aging is the inability of the body to resist distress and a slow recovery when it does falter.  This has never been as evident to me as the last few weeks.

In mid November, Temptress and I had a great idea to reorganize our office/craft room.  We worked hard and it looked great.  Later that evening I did something simple, like bend at the waist, and heard a distinct and pronounced pop resonating from my lower back.  There was no pain, just normal fatigue from the day so I went about my agenda without thought.  As the days went by I noticed a slight discomfort when I sat for too long, or as I changed positions from sitting to standing.  And true to my personality, I ignored it.  Besides, Mommies can’t get sick, we’re too valuable to the household management.

The weeks went by and my discomfort became pain.  Sitting was now intolerable and walking/climbing stairs was preferred to standing.   Then came the day when standing was no longer tolerable, and bending over the sink to brush my teeth always came with tears.  The “shower dance” as I jockeyed for a comfortable position was highly suspect by my housemates.  I could no longer ignore or rationalize away the “inconvenience” of being less than well.  

Now under a doctor’s care, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to – being a good patient, icing the wound, taking my analgesics and anti-inflammatory meds.  I’m even having a go with some muscle relaxers.  I’m not much for OTC or Rx remedies, so taking those pills is sometimes a mental leap, but along with my stretches, and support brace, and chiropractic visits, the pysche is recovering from weeks of uninterrupted pain cycles and I’m beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.

[Just for the record, sciatica sucks!  Did you know the Sciatic is the longest nerve in the body?  It reaches from the lumbar area all the way to the ankles… what a joy, NOT.]

I suppose it couldn’t have been better timing, with the kids out of school and Christmas looming, but then again, the holidays have never really agreed with me.  The good news is that while I’m down for the count, the other parents on duty had plenty of older kids around to help ease the burden of having to wait on me hand and foot, another thing I absolutely detest. All my volunteer caretakers have been exceptionally wonderful.  I only hope I’ve made it somewhat easy on them, as I hate asking for anything, and the perfunctory needs of one practically bedridden independent Mommy type are beginning to grate on my nerves.

On a happy note, I’ve appeased the teenage daughters by spending the first week reading the four novel saga of Bella and Edward in the Twilight series.  Entertaining, if you keep in mind its target audience of young teen females, even if the author recreated her own lore where the night creatures are concerned.  I am still of the opinion that my own twisted soul would prefer a seductive and animalistic Lykae lover to a forever teenage Vampire, but to each his own.  (For more on that topic, feel free to email Temptress about her favorite Lore based erotic fiction author…)

In addition to Twilight, I’m rereading the Harry Potter series in succession, as I’ve only read those books as they were published, quite spread out.  I’m also working on dismantling piles of old magazines and when I must lie flat, I have a handy box of old business papers I’m shredding for Big.  The kids would hear the shredder and come running…  “Are you bored again?”

I have missed so much, been off line, out of touch, and denied access to so many of my sanity saving habits.  I’m itching to do laundry, rearrange my bedroom, and bake something scrumptious in the kitchen (and not because Temptress isn’t doing a good job) it is just that I realize not only men base their self valuation on the accomplishments of the day.  Most especially in the last few days I’ve realized how much of “who I think I am” is based on what I do, and how the completion of those tasks please me, if not in the doing, at least in the presentation of accomplishment and service.  The whole experience has given new meaning to “service with a smile!”

Not that I miss the dirty dishes, but I did miss knowing that my standard, “I love you, have a good day,” was not the last thing the children heard before stepping onto the bus.  I don’t miss the non-stop refereeing that requires a parent on her feet and fully seen, but I’ve found myself humming Guitar Hero’s version of “American Woman” all morning with the lingering vocals of Casanova.  (Guess what the family got for Christmas??)  It’s easy for me to be waxing poetic about the pitter pat of missing feet, but when the munchkins arrive home this afternoon, snack hungry and wound for sound, I’ll once again be thankful for this morning’s bit of peace.  And for as long as I’m forced into a supine position, I’ll be grateful my Temptress is right here at my side.

~ the laundry goddess, January 6, 2009

A couple of years ago I blogged about M. Night Shyamalan’s movie The Village.  It was a wonderful cinematic effort about intentional communities and the problem with controlling others through fear.  Recently I have seen another movie with an equally riveting ideology, but with different human mistakes.

The City of Ember was released in most major cities last Friday (10-10-08).  The movie is based on a book of the same title by author Jeanne DuPrau.  DuPrau’s premise revolves around a secret underground city set 200+ years into the future after some untold cataclysmic occurrence has basically wiped out life as we know it on the Earth’s surface.  Well, it is presumed Earth, but could be any M class planet. 

The city of Ember was created by The Builders to insure two centuries of life would continue before once again trusting the surface for life support.  But through a series of unfortunate events, the great secret has been lost and now Ember is in dire condition and dying a slow death, unable to support its failing technologies and dwindling food supplies.  Hope comes in the form of two young teens, worried about their future, and uncommonly tenacious in asking the questions The Builders hoped to quell by restricting knowledge.

I learned of this movie through our Emo child, recently turned 14.  She has a passion for fantasy fiction and read this book, along with its companion, The City of Sparks, many years ago.  As I feel I must in many cases, I wanted to read the book before seeing the movie, so said wonderful daughter brought me a copy from the middle school library.  It is a youthful exploration of many adult subjects, and set my mind a’twirling picking apart the black and white of how we as responsible adults make choices about our past and our futures.

Of course, one of my peeves about movies made from books is how Hollywood gets hold of a great concept and then contorts its message in scintillating action and CGI graphics until the original message is hopelessly lost in a mire of adrenaline pumping and mind numbing activity whose only goal is to entertain, not inspire.

I think what I come away with from the exposure here is not so much the travesty of contaminating quality literature with movie style drama, but yet the unforeseeable consequences of people who make choices for other’s lives, even with the best of intentions.

The Builders put a lot of safe guards in place; they thought “they thought of everything.”  What they failed to understand is when you restrict information; you restrict the ability to think as well.  When you teach someone, “that is all there is and nothing more,” most listeners will believe you.  Only the strong will go on to explore and create and ask questions.  And fewer yet will actually DO anything about what transpires in the mind.

To be fully alive we must be taught to think for ourselves, we must be encouraged to probe, to evaluate, to invent, and to continue the process of allowing those who come after us to exceed our expectations.  Holding others to the standards we have of ourselves is nothing more than basic ego run amuck.  To attempt to control another being magnificently born of The Creator, is to second guess the divine intent we will never fully grasp.

As a parent, I am always considering the ramifications of my actions and attitudes on the next generation.  What am I doing through love and concern for their future that may inadvertently cause negative effect for them further down the line?  How am I protecting them now that will limit them later?  And the situation I most want to prepare myself for is the likelihood that any or all of the kids will one day say, “You know that thing (or things) you did?  It was a problem because…”  When that day comes, may I have the inner strength to simply say “I’m sorry” without defensiveness or contrary retort.

Maybe the greatest feat of parenting is not to teach them to keep their elbows off the table or to pick up their socks off the floor, but to aspire to inspire and encourage tolerance and understanding for those things we do not yet comprehend.  And most importantly, respect the rights we all have to make our own choices and indulge the soul an outlet that leads to personal contentment.

I invite you to get your hands on a copy of The City of Ember, and take a day or two enjoying what it felt like as a young person to get lost in an alternative universe.  Of course, you could always opt for the movie version, but you’ll loose a lot of the possibility that lingers only in the mind’s eye.

~ the laundry goddess, October 13, 2008