Comments for Ponderings and Prose http://ourpolylife.org/blog Raising 9 kids in a polyamorous home. Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:40:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 Comment on We bid you farewell by CherryLavender http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/597/comment-page-1#comment-3994 CherryLavender Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:40:03 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=597#comment-3994 We love you guys... Amanda, Tom, and Kris We love you guys…

Amanda, Tom, and Kris

]]> Comment on We bid you farewell by ourqudad http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/597/comment-page-1#comment-3993 ourqudad Sun, 09 Aug 2009 18:35:22 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=597#comment-3993 Well, I can't say that I'm surprised you have had to make this decision. You've shared so much with all of us and I for one am truly grateful. Since beginning to blog some myself, I do understand how it can be both important to you to share your journey with others and heart wrenching at the same time. You know much of what we are going through ourselves at this time though I truly haven't had it in me to share some of the latest events and issues. It's all I can do to live through them sometimes. But, I expect, if anyone could understand how that works, it would be you. I pray that you start to find more of joy and less of the pain and sorrow. Just don't forget that if you need an outside ear, I'll always be willing to be that for you. Vol Well, I can’t say that I’m surprised you have had to make this decision. You’ve shared so much with all of us and I for one am truly grateful. Since beginning to blog some myself, I do understand how it can be both important to you to share your journey with others and heart wrenching at the same time.

You know much of what we are going through ourselves at this time though I truly haven’t had it in me to share some of the latest events and issues. It’s all I can do to live through them sometimes. But, I expect, if anyone could understand how that works, it would be you.

I pray that you start to find more of joy and less of the pain and sorrow. Just don’t forget that if you need an outside ear, I’ll always be willing to be that for you.

Vol

]]> Comment on We bid you farewell by Ravenspice http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/597/comment-page-1#comment-3984 Ravenspice Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:12:24 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=597#comment-3984 As you know, I've followed your blog and gotten to know your family almost since day One. Throughout these years, reading your blog has been so many things to me: a source of inspiration; a place of sorrow as your posts reminded me of our own lost quad family; a source of hope for what could one day still be a possibility as watching you persevere brought me hope; a source of pain, as your unending pain became too painful to read; a source of joy and smiles as you shared your TMI Tuesday's, Half Nekkid Thursdsay's and Frugal Friday's. Throughout the years, I've felt blessed that you so openly shared your journey, the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly. I'll admit at times, it did feel as though the blog was used to almost share your pain, hurt those who were hurting you - and yet, I know it took great courage and it was with tremendous emotion that you shared with us. Throughout the years, I felt there were posters who were sometimes harsh to one or more of you - who judged you by the snippets they read of your daily life. Having had the opportunity to know your family more intimately as the years have passed, I have to say that I understand why you would make this likely difficult and painful decision. Exposing yourselves as you have so openly done leaves you open to others criticism as they develop their own perceptions of what your family story is about. Truth is, unless you know the intimate details of each and every side of the story, you will never have the complete story. And even then, you will only have the story YOU can piece together through the lens and filters of your own life. In your own way, each of you has contributed a great deal to the poly world, past, present and future. This archive will continue to serve both as a source of joy and hope and as a caution and reality check that poly, though full of reward and promise, is not an easy road to travel. Wishing you all many blessings as you each continue to carve out your own unique path...in the best of times and in the worst of times...May you each choose your own path, the one that serves you best. With many hugs and prayers for each and everyone of you... - Ravenspice As you know, I’ve followed your blog and gotten to know your family almost since day One. Throughout these years, reading your blog has been so many things to me: a source of inspiration; a place of sorrow as your posts reminded me of our own lost quad family; a source of hope for what could one day still be a possibility as watching you persevere brought me hope; a source of pain, as your unending pain became too painful to read; a source of joy and smiles as you shared your TMI Tuesday’s, Half Nekkid Thursdsay’s and Frugal Friday’s.

Throughout the years, I’ve felt blessed that you so openly shared your journey, the good, the bad and the sometimes ugly. I’ll admit at times, it did feel as though the blog was used to almost share your pain, hurt those who were hurting you – and yet, I know it took great courage and it was with tremendous emotion that you shared with us. Throughout the years, I felt there were posters who were sometimes harsh to one or more of you – who judged you by the snippets they read of your daily life. Having had the opportunity to know your family more intimately as the years have passed, I have to say that I understand why you would make this likely difficult and painful decision. Exposing yourselves as you have so openly done leaves you open to others criticism as they develop their own perceptions of what your family story is about. Truth is, unless you know the intimate details of each and every side of the story, you will never have the complete story. And even then, you will only have the story YOU can piece together through the lens and filters of your own life.

In your own way, each of you has contributed a great deal to the poly world, past, present and future. This archive will continue to serve both as a source of joy and hope and as a caution and reality check that poly, though full of reward and promise, is not an easy road to travel.

Wishing you all many blessings as you each continue to carve out your own unique path…in the best of times and in the worst of times…May you each choose your own path, the one that serves you best.

With many hugs and prayers for each and everyone of you…
- Ravenspice

]]> Comment on To Close To Home by givesgoodemail http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/577/comment-page-1#comment-3979 givesgoodemail Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:26:34 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=577#comment-3979 <i>"While his family is in my thoughts and those thoughts are filled with compassion my mind eventually turns to this young man and I find anger."</i> This is a natural reaction, but it's a narrow one. All of those folks who talk to suicide potentials that use the bromide "it could always be worse" haven't the faintest clue how false those words sound. I've stood at the edge of that ledge twice in my life, and from that perspective there's no damned way things could be worse. Everyone who wants to die like that wants someone else to take note. They can do it as that young man (and one of my ex-aunts) did, or it can be as simple as calling a suicide hotline, announcing your intentions, putting the phone down, and letting the interventionist hear everything. “While his family is in my thoughts and those thoughts are filled with compassion my mind eventually turns to this young man and I find anger.”
This is a natural reaction, but it’s a narrow one.
All of those folks who talk to suicide potentials that use the bromide “it could always be worse” haven’t the faintest clue how false those words sound. I’ve stood at the edge of that ledge twice in my life, and from that perspective there’s no damned way things could be worse.
Everyone who wants to die like that wants someone else to take note. They can do it as that young man (and one of my ex-aunts) did, or it can be as simple as calling a suicide hotline, announcing your intentions, putting the phone down, and letting the interventionist hear everything.

]]> Comment on What a way to start your life together! by ourqudad http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/594/comment-page-1#comment-3942 ourqudad Wed, 29 Jul 2009 00:10:17 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/594#comment-3942 What a fun loving couple! That was great! Thank you for sharing. Vol What a fun loving couple! That was great! Thank you for sharing.

Vol

]]> Comment on To Close To Home by Mickbic http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/577/comment-page-1#comment-3860 Mickbic Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:07:56 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=577#comment-3860 I had a 33 year old nephew who committed suicide on July Eighth. Anger can be one response to suicide, but many times we simply do not know the cross our children carry. My prayers to all touched by this death I had a 33 year old nephew who committed suicide on July Eighth.

Anger can be one response to suicide, but many times we simply do not know the cross our children carry.

My prayers to all touched by this death

]]> Comment on Memory Believes, Before Knowing Remembers by Euphrates http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/506/comment-page-1#comment-3603 Euphrates Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:39:04 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/506#comment-3603 Wow, that's amazing. :) Beautifully written, and powerful. Thank you for sharing this. Wow, that’s amazing. :) Beautifully written, and powerful.
Thank you for sharing this.

]]> Comment on My Win/Win by Euphrates http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/573/comment-page-1#comment-3602 Euphrates Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:26:53 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/573#comment-3602 "And up until the last 48 hours I can not say he has dealt with anyone in a mature manner where the 4 of us are concerned." I hope that means it's getting better? Believe me, I've been on the other end of "if you're not for me you're against me"...and it's really tough to get a win/win when someone's stuck in that headspace. Hoping for the best, for all of you... *hugs* “And up until the last 48 hours I can not say he has dealt with anyone in a mature manner where the 4 of us are concerned.”

I hope that means it’s getting better?

Believe me, I’ve been on the other end of “if you’re not for me you’re against me”…and it’s really tough to get a win/win when someone’s stuck in that headspace. Hoping for the best, for all of you…
*hugs*

]]> Comment on To Close To Home by Euphrates http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/577/comment-page-1#comment-3601 Euphrates Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:23:07 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=577#comment-3601 Gods. Just....gods. My heart goes out to their family, and yours - that's a lot to deal with. Gods.
Just….gods.
My heart goes out to their family, and yours – that’s a lot to deal with.

]]> Comment on No more terms by Temptress http://ourpolylife.org/blog/archives/557/comment-page-1#comment-3593 Temptress Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:41:02 +0000 http://ourpolylife.org/blog/?p=557#comment-3593 Rarely should honesty be considered rude unless it is done without tact. And in the vein of honesty I can say there has hardly ever been a time when he did not come first. That is a fact that is now changing and I can say it is causing a serious problem between he and Goddess. Your assement of his inability to consider others is correct. He has no empathy, nor compassion , nor compersion. He lacks the ability to put himself in anothers shoes so to speak. That said I'm fairly certain he is deriving no satisfaction from the situation I am in, because he has not given me nor my emotions or feelings any thought. Rarely should honesty be considered rude unless it is done without tact. And in the vein of honesty I can say there has hardly ever been a time when he did not come first. That is a fact that is now changing and I can say it is causing a serious problem between he and Goddess.
Your assement of his inability to consider others is correct. He has no empathy, nor compassion , nor compersion. He lacks the ability to put himself in anothers shoes so to speak. That said I’m fairly certain he is deriving no satisfaction from the situation I am in, because he has not given me nor my emotions or feelings any thought.

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